Happiness

Many times we walk around trying to find the true meaning of life. We constantly keep telling ourselves that if we find the truth and embrace it then our lives will change.

For a while my life was in a constant state of lifeless motion. I would try to define myself, the life I was living and even my future. I craved to find answers to my confusion and feel the happiness I deserved. I was working really hard to find meaning to my life. This was the darkest moment in my life. Nothing could make me feel better. Not my family, friends and certainly not money.

The negative energy that we sometimes carry around damages our chance of truly being happy. We end looking for distractions that end up hurting us even more. Negative energy will always be there. But how we respond to it is what matters. And in the search for a meaning in life we get to feel its presence.

Imagine a life of constant search and constant unfulfillment. The craving and desire for something that we think is so far away yet, we had it all along. As long as we find life to be meaningless, we will not be truly happy.

The things we do to distract us becomes addictions. And slowly we damage ourselves in the pursuit of happiness. we damage ourselves in pursuit of what is already with us. allowing ourselves to be at constant war with our existence does not satisfy us.

So do what you love to do. play that guitar, bake some cakes, draw, paint,dance, go on a hike, just do whatever that makes you happy. Do what you love not what the people expect from you. Happiness is always part of us we just need to embrace it.

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Breaking free.

          “No matter the strength of their wings,                     most Never leave their cages”—–.                                        Jason Versey

What is life if we constantly live in bondage? What is life if we can’t break free?

Life is meaningless if we are living just to please people. Many times, society norms, direct our thinking and actions of our day to day living. And every day that passes, the clock ticks.We forget what we are and instead direct our lives according to the norms of the society.

We find ourselves living in boxes and we can’t find our way out. Boxes that define us according to our family history, age, race, gender and religion. We live so much in these boxes that we can’t remember the last time we really breathed. We find ourselves constantly living our days on repeat.

When our lives is stuck on repeat, we become bored humans with no interest to learn or take control of our lives. We lack the strength and courage to grow. Our spirits slowly starts to dim. We have the potential to break free of all that is holding us back but we are constantly reminding ourselves ‘ that is not the way people live’.

We know who we are, we know what we want but letting go of the norms and living outsides the boxes has kept us in bondage. We yearn to learn because deep down we know the boredom, fear and stuck on repeat lives is not us.

Living is knowing freedom, stepping out of the comfort zone, learning to embrace who we are and breaking free of what is holding us back.

 

I cry sometimes

There are moments when I am stuck in a rut. And every time I find ways to get up again. And these times I am not always a happy person. Yes I cry sometimes.

When in a rut, I try somethings to feel better and be on my feet. So I try drawing,poetry,music,reading and a little dancing. I find in moments of frustration and defeat I become angry. In my mind I keep on telling myself, I need to kick this rut out. So when some of these exercises seem to fail me, I cry.

I am a strong person emotionally and crying was not something I liked. so whenever moments like this happened, I would question myself, thoughts and shame would cross my mind,

“why am I crying? I am being too weak, this is not me. Someone might see me. I need to stop” thoughts crossed my mind in the moment of ‘weakness’. But now I understand what crying is.

I cry sometimes, not because am weak. I am still the brave person who I have always been and who knows challenges come and in these moments we have to find solutions. 

I am not ashamed, I can proudly say, “I cry sometimes.”

 

How journaling helps me during attacks.

There was a moment in my life when I was extremely anxious, depressed and uncertain. I used to go through the day angry at everything and everyone. Life to me was meaningless. I lived each day like a zombie.

Whenever I used to think about the future, I would be anxious and restless to a point of shedding tears.

So this went on for a while until I couldn’t take it anymore. Then one of my friends advised me to start journaling and meditating. I opted to journal.

But at first I was hesitant because I feared someone would read my journal. I didn’t fancy the idea of someone reading my raw feelings,which are very personal. But the crave for inner peace was stronger.

So I started journaling every night before bed. I would write about my day, how I felt about certain situations and my time with people around me. Sometimes I would even journal during the day depending on how I felt.

After journaling I would sleep better and wake up refreshed. I also noticed  that all the things I used to fuss about were not such a big deal after all.

My time with pen and paper has become therapeutic. Now patience flows in me and peace of mind is something I own. I am a happy person and the future is not depressing anymore. Instead I see a promise and I know things will work out after all.

Where is the love?

The world has come to a point where human behavior has become questionable. We have become selfish,greedy and cruel to everything and everyone. And people do not want to care anymore.

The daily news on radio,t.v and magazines have become depressing to listen, watch or read. There is a lot going on around us and for some with hope, it is slowly diminishing.

where is the love?

Where is the love that we desire to receive? Where is the love that guides us to be better versions of ourselves? Where is the love that gives us hope?

It has come to a point where people don’t know love nor understand it. If people truly love, why is there so much negative energy around us?

Sometimes I tell myself if I show them what love is,maybe then they will know. But I also find myself losing hope a little because that is a choice everyone has to make. And humans have been gifted with choices to make. it is their choice to be better versions of themselves.

But what I know is, I want to live each day, being a better version and making  world a better place.

I am going to care, be kind, nurture, teach, feed,cloth and give comfort. I am going to love because I believe through love, there is light at the end of the tunnel.🌻

Hello Law of Attraction

Law of attraction has become part of me. We wake up together, eat together and spend the whole of our days together. I can say I am in love. But at first it was all a joke.

When I started manifesting the law of attraction I was impatient. I remember those days I was facing financial crisis. So I sat down and thought, people say that the law of attraction works in every aspect of our lives. So am going to manifest it and see if I can get some cash today. So I sat down and started to think of all the kind of money I wanted. After five minutes I touched my pockets wondering where my money was. No kidding. That was dumb of me.

The law of attraction has changed my once dull negative life. Don’t get me wrong. My life is not perfect. But it is not the way it used to be. I mean all the negativity was weighing me down.

The negative energy was affecting me. My mental health was unstable and all other aspects of my life was not in okay. I am talking about spiritual, social,physical and financial.

And so I started working towards my goals being more positive, more vibrant and authentic to myself.

I no longer complain or think how unfortunate I am. I think how healthy, wealthy, beautiful, confident and blessed I am. And now I am not waiting to find cash in my pockets out of nowhere. Instead of focusing on the number of times I have fallen, I focus on the number of times I have risen.

Pain

Pain is a feeling that no one wishes experience. I read somewhere that, pain and a sad face is good for your heart. It kept me wondering about it for a while. Come to think of it, pain comes from different places, people or things. It might be due to rejection, lose, failure or other things that make us feel not good enough.

But what really sucks about pain is how people get to measure it sometimes. I just don’t get it. Somebody telling that you don’t understand pain cause you have not felt it they way they have, is an insult. Oh, now I should not tell you about how my life feels like after breaking up with an ex after dating for three months because it didn’t last the three years yours did? Or maybe how I slept hungry one day because I was broke and you had to for a week.?

I get it you have hurt extremely and maybe no one understood but silencing others because they didn’t experience situations like you is a no.

Pain is inevitable. There is always that one moment that really shakes us. And then all the other heart aches comes flooding in. I learnt healing doesn’t happen overnight, it is a process.

sometimes I am angry because I can’t heal  faster and let go of the crippling pain. Sometimes I even dwell in certain pain because I want to be the victim. yeah it sounds stupid but don’t judge, I am human.

But I know,I want to heal and it is a process. I hope I heal because my mind, my body and my soul needs it.